Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Family Guy Episode: Stewie's Empire Is Star Dusted and Moon Raked

Not wanting to disappoint the creator of Family Guy and his poor wretched plight, and, not wanting to succumb to Stewie's TV Mind Erasure Zombie Empire I have written this in peremptory revolt.  I am beginning an Anti-Family Guy Revolution.  I will bring a case before The U.S. Supreme Court advocating for the freedom from mind inundation of bilge and bad cartoon dictatorship control and free the zombie-slaves from the oppressive powers of Stewie by drafting and forcing a monumental lawsuit that requires the writers and creator of Family Guy to implement and draft into every episode characters that viewers craft and send in destined to have altercations, battles, and full frontal assault wars contra Stewie and his evil entourage akin to the gladiator battles of Ancient Rome.  The characters would have to be replete with a short script in order for the cartoonists to create the show.  This concession-judgement will be approved-granted in order to  make amends for the grievances of the mind washed zombie viewers - too desperate for entertainment to know better than to watch The Family Guy Monopoly of "The Funny" and the overly oppressive reign of Stewie - and will serve as a public apology for creating in us all spectacle-receptacle absorbing TV cartoon drunk erased minds and eliminate the monopoly of idiot-ism the creator/writers now hold.
Any-who here is my battle episode contra Stewie and his dinky-petty-funny  Family Guy ugly-ilk-minions:

Peter sits watching TV on his dilapidated fart dust laden turquoise couch.  All of the sudden Cartman appears on the screen eating Cheesy Poofs gluttonously moaning like a lesbian porn star reaching orgasm number 1000 of the day.  Peter initially squeals hysterically and freaks out covering his mouth with his fat hands as if another Twilight Zone dimension-universe had just opened a worm hole portal in his house or as if The Greys, the alien creature pilots of UFO disks, had high-jacked his satellite television connection on earth and were video taping one of their own kind and broadcasting all over earth for cackles and gew hahs.  But Peter quickly calms down as he remembers Cartman had been over to his house to play with poopy doopy Stewie and realized that Cartman just looked different on the screen in his own house which really is a different cartoon dimension.  We the viewers, hear the words in the back of Peter's mind, unbeknownst to him, concerning his personal thoughts about the past visit-consortment between the mastermind of the Family Guy Realm: Stewie, and, Cartman: a nihilistic-anarchist "a-thor-it-tie" on a tricycle wearing brandishing fighter pilot shades which should have never been endorsed by the Federal Government nor the Air Force and should provoke massive lawsuits contra the writers of South Park.  Peter was drooling over cheesy poof power like Smeagol in Lord of the Rings over Bilbo's ring as he realized the images the TV was playing were live and he had an actual live sneak peak view into the private life of one of the most powerful TV cartoon land zombie mind creating conspirators against mankind that has ever yet existed.  And so he sat mentally transfixed gasming, drooling, binging on lust for power.
Stewie could then be seen looking furtively around a corner in a sinister way at the pathetic scene.  He had wired the television set so that he would be able to play this live video feed for his father, Peter, and effectively hypnotize him.  Stewie had recently become infected with the Oedipus Complex after seeing Lois bend over in front of him inadvertently showcasing her callipygian back side and ample luscious dangling unsheathed cleavage caused by a loose shirt (his buried repressed sexuality finally coming to the surface permanently igniting, and taking over his free will autopilot) and wanted Peter dead.  With secret electronic technology that he obtained from the grey aliens, who by no means loaned the equipment to Stewie so he could automatically take over the world - they just wanted to see if we humans could overcome the mind control zombie creating dominance of a cartoon character.  Mickey Mouse sure is quaint and was decadently innocent and has rotted to poopy doopy tyrant and his foul smelling diaper empire polluting the minds of already hypnotized zombie viewers.  Nevertheless Stewie was allotted technology permitting him to channel energies from a different cartoon dimension, the South Park dimension, into his own, to continue and further the experiments The Greys themselves were developing.

And since Stewie's father, Peter, was ignorant of this Grey technology, he did not understand what was happening and was therefore hypnotically dominated and his mind set on absorb and captivation protocol which is lower on the totem pole of awareness, power, vitality, and virility than Stewie's.  Stewie's idea was to create an image so disturbing, a sound so abrasive, a scene or event so overwhelming that his father would die from being unable to handle the moment.  And so far everything was going as planned as Peter watched Cartman eat Cheesy Poofs intermittently talking about how all of his power and "a-thor-it-tie" are derived from eating cheesy poofs.  And then he severely harshly cruelly teased jacked around mentally mind raped his viewer like any good porn star, "Don't you wish you had some cheesy poofs"?  The ultimate power binge, more honest than Hilary Clinton and other orgiastic power bingers who do it in the closet because they have to and do not know how to do otherwise and consequently are swallowed by the leveling tendencies of the cancerous resentful mind erased washed zombies created by the decadent Western Civilization and fear an anarchist uprising or something.
Anywho, Peter sat drooling in front of the TV reaching pathetically towards the screen with tremblical fat hands like the zombie-slave wanna be conqueror of the world that he was afflicted from living with his son since his birth as Stewie tried to laugh in a Draconian manner but could not and only was only able to approach a sadly sinister abortive English butler accented squeak.  Just then, a silent warning light on Stewie's wrist apparatus began to flash.  In a panic, he looked away from the warning light and in on his doomed  father to see what the problem was just after his father started screaming hysterically full force about a Stapelic Scorpic (my creation) that had begun to burrow into a stray cheesy poof.
The above is a photograph of three Stapelic Scorpics. Actually they are not  exclusively my creation but I named them and design their ether circuitry, hardware, and software by quantum mechanical super string neuronal programming.  The raw design I learned from a friend wanting to place these nasty little drackic devices on the chair of our third grade teacher when they weren't paying attention.  One only needs to twist two staples together making a tight spiral and pointing the aggressively raised venom tail to the sky.
Anywhat, one of my star flare dash scorpics was hyper-rapid-slowly, like a quicksilver machine slug, maurading hyper-mach-ic-glass-drift-ic-ly onto the scene, and burrowed insidiously into one of the oblivious Cartman's cheesy poofs.  Peter watched in silent utter catatonic stark terror horror as Cartman picked up the  cheesy poof containing the scorpic - as the scorpic was far too much alien twilight zone dimensional shock for Peter to absorb mega magnitudes more than even Stewie had anticipated - and thus the fear completely and irretrievably consumed him.
The "evil" monkey in Stewie's closet is really a secret agent belonging to the ranks of the Planeteers posing by wearing a bad temper mask - the last remaining vestige of a deceased Captain Planet who was buried in the nihilistic-anarchist toxic mind erasing hypnotizing sludge emitted by Family Guy and the evil writer forces within the perma-avant garde of the Entertainment-Abortivicating Reality Industry inundating the zombie collective consciousness, so thirsty for an escape from the horrors of the world and psychological prisons, with cheap farty ribald laughs. The monkey too had his own technology, given to him by the Greys, to fight this nihilistic-anarchist toxic sludge of the mind flattening the earth flatter than a pancake.  Yet will the planet survive the toxic mental sludge industrialized by the physically ugly characters on the Family Guy Show?  Captain Planet would be aghast if he saw the world as it is today. 
 And the "evil" monkey Planeteer spy erupts onto the scene from a hidden hallway closet door that was warped into existence by The Grey Aliens and releases a TV with static fuzz shark teeth mouth that chases after a pitifully fleeing Stewie leaving a trail of urine, which, stops to have a smoke break with the Stapelic Scorpics first because in chase scenes like this there is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide for psychological criminals like Stewie.  Stewie is so shell shocked by the Planeteer Twi-lit Zone technology so foreign and cutting edge that he succumbs to psychological trauma and remains stone still paralyzed from fear of the TV sent out of the closet by the "evil" monkey that was chasing him.  He remained frozen in the living room where Peter, his father, is drooling in a pre-coma state and about to collapse as Cartman eats the cheesy poof with the stapelic scorpic lurking within.  Cartman promptly dies in a flash of a spasm as the stapelic scorpic slowly burrows out of his eye like a sublime trickle of silvery blood.  Peter then loses touch with reality and goes into a standing unconscious coma with yellow pee pee diaper Stewie verbally pleading and begging in shear shock terror for his father to help him as the Grey's permitted him to only be able to move his mouth and vocal chords for comedic relief.  But alas his father is in a coma from the traumatic experience of Cartman's death.
Peter's head then suddenly explodes after a violent internal paroxysm caused by his still functioning overloaded sensory organs.  An AT-AT from Star Wars in the battle of Hoth form The Empire Strikes Back then appears on the screen which looks like this:

Stewie then puts his hands up waving his fear pissed yellowed diaper on a stick like a white flag in defeat wailing like the true baby he is pleading to be spared.  The monkey, secret agent of Captain Planet, and our heroes: the Stapelic Scorpics; and the rouge static fuzz shark toothed TV which was given tactics by the scorpics during the smoking break, force Stewie into the Monkey's Closet.  The greys and other chemical breathing machine god technologies of the universe in unpopular fairness allow Stewie to run a psychological power struggle or Star Wars "Force" gauntlet to see if he can be upgraded and advance enough to overcome this raid on his domain and allowing him to discover where he is in the true order of rank of the world.  The last word is: Stewie is pouting and refuses to grow up and attempt to run the gauntlet and feigns insanity.  Video surveillance of his cell at night record Stewie having wet dreams while crying pitifully for his mother.

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