Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Family Guy: Stewie Does Rule the World and we are his Zombie Slaves
"Ladies and Gentlemen" says the cartoonist, in cartoon form, of Family Guy, as he walks onto stage to introduce this episode of Family Guy in word form. "Folks: what we have tonight is a crisis. I always thought Stewie was my creation, my imagination, my fantasy, but I have come to realize with some serious introspection writing the last episode that Stewie had high-jacked my pen, my mind, my soul. I am his slave mother and father and am aborting reality in a certain sense by sucking the life out of life and people in this over entertainment-ized civilization. And as I discovered this, the evils of writing and creation, allowing in a sense Stewie and his counterparts in the show to dominate the human psyche to large extent and if not directly conquering the world by making zombies out of us all with their show they are at least involved in the TV-machine conspiracy to suck the life out of us all like a vampire as opposed to people tapping into their own creative wells and impulses creativities. But there is always the question of work. People need to become zombies when they return home from work. Mind Erasure Sequence begin. Stewie and his entourage are now entering your mind. Your mind is absorbing. And when a mind absorbs that mind is lower on the totem pole; your status decreeses; your energies decrease; you loose yourself and Stewie plays like a 2-D dream through your barely conscious alive mind, a dream so "captivating" that you give your self over completely, become a zombie. Stewie isn't messing around. That is the power-vitality totem pole."
"And when I realized that Stewie had high-jacked my mind, body and soul and was perpetuating such evils in this dissolving land with static fuzzy grey sludge sowing nihilistic monsters I almost died. I wanted to quit my job, erase every episode, have a public burning or tv's, Family Guy dolls, t-shirts, comic books, everything that I had brought into this world unecessarily and making zombies of us all. Our greatest nightmare. But Stewie in order to be able dominate the world more had to push the boundary and is now in a full frontal assault warning all viewers through me, his slave, that he is dominating their minds by causing absorption of his image and essence by watching TV. I bid you all my viewers do not watch this show anymore shut it down before it is too late. Go all of you build draw construct your own cartoons and let them be a fresh generation and construct them to wage war against Stewie and all the wrong he has done you. Perhaps it is too late and the erasure of the world by zombification is at hand and you must not let Stewie control you like he has controlled me, a creative art device to carry out his bidding. These are all of the words that I am permitted at this time. Stewies technology is on autopilot and determines exactly what I can and cannot do. Good Luckkkk!!!"
And Stewie's creator is brutally ejected off of stage...