I am tired of beautiful women like you making the weather "nice" the gas mask-ed man yells. Always pity and regret and apologies when it is a winter storm, sorrows and tears when it is too hot, and only once in a blue moon when the weather is actually correct is there a genuine smile and a rather dim one tainted by so much toxin from the vapid abortive mellow prosaic airs of your spirit. Who the hell wants to experience weather like that? I want bone chilling cold spoken with a straight austere hard face, I want blistering hot followed by a "hell yeah I'm a sun worshiper" followed by the untimely death of 42 old lonely grey widows from heat exhaustion. I want smog reports, pictures of grimy city air filled with destructive toxins. I want acid rain reports, the number of statues destroyed and city budgets allocated to the repair acid rain damage. And I want ozone layer holes and depletions reported so everyone knows how where to find extra-special radioactive sun licks.
I want reality, not a mellow prosaic monotonous 70 degree fair-n-height-ed tepid luke warm pleasant banal probe. Damn you for covering up global warming and this big conspiracy with aliens high-jacking the minds of people like Rush Limbaugh (who, by the way, was ordered by the EPA and The Eco-Conscious Scientist League by authority of The Supreme Court, to plant a fir tree in his broadcasting studio and forced to sniff pine needles before every news broadcast by a Green Earth Patriot Task Force Member) who don't believe in global warming either because the aliens use their technology to cool the planet synthetically and this reality-fact provides them ample leverage, due to Limbaugh's sharp intuition, to mind control this infamous radio anchor.
Or he could be a grey alien hybrid himself - a device used to create mind turbulence disorder among the masses on earth to swirl them every which way; within strict intergalactic guidelines of course - knowing that the world is not in jeopardy whilst us humans do not know this and thus find ourselves baulking and unable to make a decision, to assess the situation, determine who are hybrids and who are not, and determine how to stop global warming, and then move forward.